The start of a new year is often a time of reflection and looking forward to what is in store. Our family has had some really big things happen this year. We have had the opportunity to foster 3 children as well as respite care for a couple of others. One foster experience in the spring/early summer was especially hard and made us question our ability to follow through on those plans. We decided to take a break for the summer and had decided August would be the earliest we would take another child. Well, August 2nd we took on almost 2 year old girl that will soon be part of our family, legally.
We have decided to change her legal name to Jazlyn Hope. Jazlyn is a similar to a nickname she had received during a previous placement and we wanted to keep it similar sounding for her sake. We chose Hope because of the journey we have been on to get to this place with Jaz in our family.
Jeremiah 29:11 states, "For I know the plans I have for you." says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future, and a hope."
That is what we feel like God has done in our lives. He has given us His plans, not ours. A future that looks different than we planned. But when we stopped making our plans and listened to His plans, we have felt at peace with how things have gone. Not easy, not always the most fun and sometimes really frustrating but the right thing to do because it feels obedient to what He has asked of us.
As I look back over 2013, I can't help but recognize some other great highlights:
* Drake had a great check-up and EEG in August and we were able to completely wean him off of his seizure medication by the end of November. So far, he has been seizure-free since being off medication!
* Grady has had the opportunity to go to the public preschool this fall and have a great teacher that also attends our church. He has loved it!
*Drake and Hadley have continued attending SCS in 4th and 1st grades and love it. We have been so blessed by the staff there.
*Drake was able to attend a few days at church camp this past summer and take a friend from school with him.
*Hadley joined Drake on the worship team at church and helps leading worship in children's area
*Gabe has had a great year at his job with the worship area remodel and installation of lots of new technical equipment. It has been a challenge but one he has enjoyed and thrived in.
* Gabe and I set a goal to go out on at least one date a month for 2013 and we made our goal and it's been such a positive for our marriage.
* Gabe and I celebrated 12 years of marriage and it just keeps getting better!
*Since Jaz joined our family, she has started speech and developmental therapy and has gone from only being able to say a few words to starting to say 2-3 word phrases and starting to communicate on a more consistent basis.
*I had a little health scare in May with a lump, some testing and a biopsy but thankfully it came back benign and the 6 month recheck still looked clear.
*2013 was the summer of Ice Deli. We had so much fun visiting this place as a family for a cool treat and visiting with friends.
*We enjoyed a short little get-away this summer to Chicago and were able to hit a few highlights of the city and stay at Uncle Josh and Aunt Jacki's house.
As we move forward into 2014, we are patiently expectant as to what God has in store for this year for the Ruts.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Friday, November 2, 2012
The journey
As I look back over the last year or so I can see the journey we've been on. God started a big work in our lives and to be able to see where we are today, you have to see where we've been and how God has been nudging (or shoving) us throughout the last couple of years. So, here are some snippets of some past writings...
October 2011:
Lately, Gabe and I have been feeling God moving in our lives in a big way. It has been through a host of different experiences. We recently attended a marriage class, I attended a women's conference, we have been studying through a series at church entitled "Weird" on both Sunday mornings and in our small group, and I have been doing a Beth Moore Bible Study called "Believing God". In all of these things we have felt like God is doing something in our lives and our family and it's time for us to hold on because this ride is about to take off. We have struggled this year with a lot of extra (non-budgeted) bills because of medical issues and repairs. I had been having a "woe is me" attitude about it because at the end of last year we had made a commitment, on top of our tithe, to the church for a 2 year campaign. To me, I thought that meant that God should give us a pass for the next 2 years on any other financial hardship. Although it has been hard and we will still be paying off the extra expenses that we've had this year for awhile, we have been able to keep our commitment, have food on the table and the heat on in our house. Gabe and I both feel so unsettled about our current budget but without a lot of "extras" that we can cut out we are strongly considering downgrading our living expenses by selling our house and buying something less expensive. Our house isn't extravagant now and we love having room for family to stay with us. That is something we don't want to give up because we both feel strongly about spending time with family, so we are looking into possibly something not necessarily smaller but less expensive. We're not sure what that means yet and know this is not the time of year to put a house on the market. So, we're going to keep praying that God will give us discernment on this issue. We are hoping by spring, we may try to put the house up for sale and pray God will show us a house that will fit our budget and family. We just know that we are called to be generous and want to do everything in our power to be able to do that and leave our kids a legacy bigger than house payments.
Well, as time went on, we didn't feel like moving was the right option for us, so we cut back where we could and continued to try to make wise choices with our resources. God has blessed that and we have been able to give even more money away than we originally committed to. We continued to read and grow and be stretched....
In November of 2011, we started helping out at a homeless mission in town as a family. We started by providing a meal for it's 40ish residents once a month. Then, we decided we wanted to be more involved so we started helping weekly for awhile with going and hanging out with the kids. We would teach a lesson and play with the kids while the moms would do a Bible Study. It was such an eye-opening experience for us as a family. It was heart-breaking that while we lived 15 minutes away in a warm house with more toys than necessary for our kids, people were homeless, living in extreme poverty. And our side of town seemed to live in complete ignorance of this issue. It felt wrong driving back home to all the comforts of our lives. The only reason we are more privileged is that we were born into families that were able to provide and teach us about God and most of those people weren't.
I had been mentioning the idea of adopting another child to Gabe for months at this point but was trying to patiently wait for God to move in his heart if this was truly a path for our family. Adoption is a big deal and we definitely needed everyone on board if it was to happen. Well, helping at the mission helped do that for Gabe. Those kids broke his heart for what types of lives they were growing up in. And while we realize we can't take them all in, we can make a difference to one.
Around Christmas last year I wrote this regards to the financial and medical struggles we had last year...
Now, while our future is still not clear to us and we are far from having it all together, we believe that God is going to use these struggles to bring about great things in the year to come for our family. We are excited and a little anxious about the future. But, we no longer want the "American dream". We want to see how God can humbly use us, a simple family, to change the world, one day at a time.
Fast forward a few months, God was still working in our hearts in regards to adoption and we finally started sharing that idea with a few people close to us. We started feeling like it was a good to start exploring how to make it a reality in our lives. In July 2012 we started the process. We made the call to a social service agency to start getting licensed. We had decided that adopting through the foster care system was going to be the best option for our family. We were really hoping to only take a child that would be adoptable. But, as we met with the social worker and started filling out paperwork and praying about how God wanted to use this situation we decided that we were open to fostering no matter the outcome. Obviously, it would be hard emotionally if the child lived with our family for several years and then had to return to his/her biological family. But, maybe that's how God wants to use us, maybe God will use us to change a whole family and not just one child. Maybe God wants us to adopt the child that lives with us and that would be great too. We're willing to travel whatever waters lie ahead of us. That doesn't mean we haven't thought through the hard situations we may encounter, the stress of adding another child, most likely who will have a lot of baggage. We're not naive, just ready to be obedient to the journey God is asking us to walk. We are in the process of getting licensed and are in the middle of the licensing classes right now which go until December. Hopefully that means our paperwork will be all done and put us on the list for calls by the beginning of the year. We're excited to see this journey play out in our lives and grateful that God was patient with us as we learned to give up the ideas and dreams and life plans we felt entitled to but were not His plan.
October 2011:
Lately, Gabe and I have been feeling God moving in our lives in a big way. It has been through a host of different experiences. We recently attended a marriage class, I attended a women's conference, we have been studying through a series at church entitled "Weird" on both Sunday mornings and in our small group, and I have been doing a Beth Moore Bible Study called "Believing God". In all of these things we have felt like God is doing something in our lives and our family and it's time for us to hold on because this ride is about to take off. We have struggled this year with a lot of extra (non-budgeted) bills because of medical issues and repairs. I had been having a "woe is me" attitude about it because at the end of last year we had made a commitment, on top of our tithe, to the church for a 2 year campaign. To me, I thought that meant that God should give us a pass for the next 2 years on any other financial hardship. Although it has been hard and we will still be paying off the extra expenses that we've had this year for awhile, we have been able to keep our commitment, have food on the table and the heat on in our house. Gabe and I both feel so unsettled about our current budget but without a lot of "extras" that we can cut out we are strongly considering downgrading our living expenses by selling our house and buying something less expensive. Our house isn't extravagant now and we love having room for family to stay with us. That is something we don't want to give up because we both feel strongly about spending time with family, so we are looking into possibly something not necessarily smaller but less expensive. We're not sure what that means yet and know this is not the time of year to put a house on the market. So, we're going to keep praying that God will give us discernment on this issue. We are hoping by spring, we may try to put the house up for sale and pray God will show us a house that will fit our budget and family. We just know that we are called to be generous and want to do everything in our power to be able to do that and leave our kids a legacy bigger than house payments.
Well, as time went on, we didn't feel like moving was the right option for us, so we cut back where we could and continued to try to make wise choices with our resources. God has blessed that and we have been able to give even more money away than we originally committed to. We continued to read and grow and be stretched....
In November of 2011, we started helping out at a homeless mission in town as a family. We started by providing a meal for it's 40ish residents once a month. Then, we decided we wanted to be more involved so we started helping weekly for awhile with going and hanging out with the kids. We would teach a lesson and play with the kids while the moms would do a Bible Study. It was such an eye-opening experience for us as a family. It was heart-breaking that while we lived 15 minutes away in a warm house with more toys than necessary for our kids, people were homeless, living in extreme poverty. And our side of town seemed to live in complete ignorance of this issue. It felt wrong driving back home to all the comforts of our lives. The only reason we are more privileged is that we were born into families that were able to provide and teach us about God and most of those people weren't.
I had been mentioning the idea of adopting another child to Gabe for months at this point but was trying to patiently wait for God to move in his heart if this was truly a path for our family. Adoption is a big deal and we definitely needed everyone on board if it was to happen. Well, helping at the mission helped do that for Gabe. Those kids broke his heart for what types of lives they were growing up in. And while we realize we can't take them all in, we can make a difference to one.
Around Christmas last year I wrote this regards to the financial and medical struggles we had last year...
Now, while our future is still not clear to us and we are far from having it all together, we believe that God is going to use these struggles to bring about great things in the year to come for our family. We are excited and a little anxious about the future. But, we no longer want the "American dream". We want to see how God can humbly use us, a simple family, to change the world, one day at a time.
Fast forward a few months, God was still working in our hearts in regards to adoption and we finally started sharing that idea with a few people close to us. We started feeling like it was a good to start exploring how to make it a reality in our lives. In July 2012 we started the process. We made the call to a social service agency to start getting licensed. We had decided that adopting through the foster care system was going to be the best option for our family. We were really hoping to only take a child that would be adoptable. But, as we met with the social worker and started filling out paperwork and praying about how God wanted to use this situation we decided that we were open to fostering no matter the outcome. Obviously, it would be hard emotionally if the child lived with our family for several years and then had to return to his/her biological family. But, maybe that's how God wants to use us, maybe God will use us to change a whole family and not just one child. Maybe God wants us to adopt the child that lives with us and that would be great too. We're willing to travel whatever waters lie ahead of us. That doesn't mean we haven't thought through the hard situations we may encounter, the stress of adding another child, most likely who will have a lot of baggage. We're not naive, just ready to be obedient to the journey God is asking us to walk. We are in the process of getting licensed and are in the middle of the licensing classes right now which go until December. Hopefully that means our paperwork will be all done and put us on the list for calls by the beginning of the year. We're excited to see this journey play out in our lives and grateful that God was patient with us as we learned to give up the ideas and dreams and life plans we felt entitled to but were not His plan.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
What We've Been Up To
Since it's been so long since I've updated the blog, I thought I'd try to give a quick review...
In November, Hadley and Grady both had surgery to repair their umbilical hernias. They both did great and recovered really quickly!
At Christmas time, we snapped some family shots at the church. This was the best we got out of a bunch of tries...I'm trying to decide if it looks like I'm smiling really big or clenching my teeth.
Grady discovered his favorite activity: vacuuming! We had to hide the vacuum for awhile because he knew which closet we kept it in and would constantly ask for it!
We took a trip down to Nashville in February and had fun with the cousins at a Children's Museum!
We had a follow-up appointment with Drake's neurologist in March so we stopped off at the zoo while we were in town.
Hadley, Grady and I have been a part of some fun playdates through the church this winter and spring. They are usually twice a month and gives the kids some great time to play and moms to chat! This one was at the Illinois State Museum here in town.
We re-painted our living room and had the kids add some artwork. Drake had made a cool fish in art class at school, so we framed that and then had Hadley and Grady paint some canvases to add to it.
We bought a season pass to our local zoo in town and have already made several trips there. The kids liked the new wooden bird wing display where you can see how you measure up to the wing-span of different birds.
This is a perfect picture of Drake's personality with Grady. Drake is SUCH a good big brother and is such a big helper with Grady. Drake will even let Gabe and I sleep in sometimes on Saturdays and will get Grady out of his crib and feed him breakfast before we even know he's up. Yeah, that's pretty much awesome.
My girl and I enjoying the sunshine this spring watching Drake's soccer practices.
Hadley had her first swim lessons this spring. She is not my water-lover so this was a bit (or a lot) out of her comfort zone. She made little strides of progress but we'll be taking more lessons this summer to try to make more progress.
Life with 3 kids is busy but oh so fun. Parenting is the most challenging and yet rewarding job. The challenging seasons are just that, challenging but there are glimpses of the fruit of our labor as well. Gabe and I have been through a lot of struggles over the last year with medical issues, extra expenses and parenting woes but with it has come spiritual growth that is challenging us to broaden our thinking on a lot of issues. We're excited to see how God's plan unfolds in our lives and our family over the next weeks, months and years to come.
In November, Hadley and Grady both had surgery to repair their umbilical hernias. They both did great and recovered really quickly!
At Christmas time, we snapped some family shots at the church. This was the best we got out of a bunch of tries...I'm trying to decide if it looks like I'm smiling really big or clenching my teeth.
Grady discovered his favorite activity: vacuuming! We had to hide the vacuum for awhile because he knew which closet we kept it in and would constantly ask for it!
We took a trip down to Nashville in February and had fun with the cousins at a Children's Museum!
(trying to capture a picture of 3 17 month olds is hard!)
We had a follow-up appointment with Drake's neurologist in March so we stopped off at the zoo while we were in town.
Hadley, Grady and I have been a part of some fun playdates through the church this winter and spring. They are usually twice a month and gives the kids some great time to play and moms to chat! This one was at the Illinois State Museum here in town.
We re-painted our living room and had the kids add some artwork. Drake had made a cool fish in art class at school, so we framed that and then had Hadley and Grady paint some canvases to add to it.
Hadley wanted to get her hair cut so she got a super-cute new 'do!
We bought a season pass to our local zoo in town and have already made several trips there. The kids liked the new wooden bird wing display where you can see how you measure up to the wing-span of different birds.
This is a perfect picture of Drake's personality with Grady. Drake is SUCH a good big brother and is such a big helper with Grady. Drake will even let Gabe and I sleep in sometimes on Saturdays and will get Grady out of his crib and feed him breakfast before we even know he's up. Yeah, that's pretty much awesome.
My girl and I enjoying the sunshine this spring watching Drake's soccer practices.
Hadley had her first swim lessons this spring. She is not my water-lover so this was a bit (or a lot) out of her comfort zone. She made little strides of progress but we'll be taking more lessons this summer to try to make more progress.
Life with 3 kids is busy but oh so fun. Parenting is the most challenging and yet rewarding job. The challenging seasons are just that, challenging but there are glimpses of the fruit of our labor as well. Gabe and I have been through a lot of struggles over the last year with medical issues, extra expenses and parenting woes but with it has come spiritual growth that is challenging us to broaden our thinking on a lot of issues. We're excited to see how God's plan unfolds in our lives and our family over the next weeks, months and years to come.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
20 months
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Character
We recently had Drake's parent-teacher conference. I was eager to have a chance to talk to the teacher one on one and hear how Drake was doing at school. I knew, from the papers he brings home, that he was doing fairly well academically and Drake will honestly give us his behavior report every day and so we knew that there had not been any major issues (only some chattiness!). However, we struggle at home a lot with Drake. He is a perfectionist when it comes to a lot of things and also very competitive and that leads to frequent issues. So, the time came to get to hear from another adult about how he handles himself at school. His teacher started off the conference by telling us that Drake's character and honesty are very admirable and unusual for this age. Whew, I guess some things we are teaching are sinking in. She was so impressed with his honesty one day because she called several children up to get a treat for not getting any warnings that week (for talking). She called Drake's name. When she was going to give him his treat, he reminded her that he had gotten a warning for talking the day before so he shouldn't get the treat. She was so impressed with his honesty that she pulled him aside later and gave him the treat anyway. She also made the comment that when asked to use the word "believe" in a sentence in front of the class that his sentence was "I believe in God." We have struggled so much over the last few years with private vs. public education and which option is the best for our family. We want to protect him from bad influences but yet want him to be a light to the other kids as well. That was enough assurance, at least for now, that we have made the right decision.
Monday, October 31, 2011
14 months
Things you love:
broccoli and cauliflower
pizza
grapes
your puppy
being outside
seeing dogs from a distance (you aren't too sure of them when they get close)
being put down to go to bed (you are not a cuddler!)
Things you don't love:
riding in the car
green beans
anything made with sour cream or mayonnaise
riding in the car
not getting your way (you are getting the hang of fit-throwing!)
riding in the car
sleeping all night
riding in the car (this makes everything from running errands to visiting family a difficult task)
Things you are starting to say:
mama
dada
ball
uh-oh
tickle
keys
bye bye
woof woof (all animals either say "woof" or "grrrr" with an occasional "baaaa")
You are still taking two naps a day, usually about 1 1/2-2 hours each and generally go down and wake up happy each time. You have 11 teeth through now, with the other bottom molar looking like it could pop through any day. You are not a great night time sleeper. You really would like to have a snack (milk) most nights. Your night time sleep is completely unpredictable, you might sleep all night for several nights and then wake up several nights in row with no seeming pattern. However, if you wake up you have NO desire to be held or cuddled, you simply want a drink and to go back to bed! Hours and hours and weeks and weeks of attempting to make you cry it out seem to have no impact on your desire to sleep all night, every night. I have a feeling you are going to be one strong-willed child. You are wearing 18-24 month pants and 24months-2T shirts. I think you weigh close to 30lbs now. You are signing "please", "all done", "more" and "thank you" now. We are trying really hard to get you to sign all done before you start throwing your food or cup down. You are understanding more and more everyday and are starting to get better about following simple commands like picking things up and throwing things away. You are having surgery in a couple of weeks to fix your hernia, on the same day as your big sister. You love playing with your siblings and try to keep up with them. You also love to try to do the actions to songs that your siblings sing. You have added a lot to our family over the last 14 months!
broccoli and cauliflower
pizza
grapes
your puppy
being outside
seeing dogs from a distance (you aren't too sure of them when they get close)
being put down to go to bed (you are not a cuddler!)
Things you don't love:
riding in the car
green beans
anything made with sour cream or mayonnaise
riding in the car
not getting your way (you are getting the hang of fit-throwing!)
riding in the car
sleeping all night
riding in the car (this makes everything from running errands to visiting family a difficult task)
Things you are starting to say:
mama
dada
ball
uh-oh
tickle
keys
bye bye
woof woof (all animals either say "woof" or "grrrr" with an occasional "baaaa")
You are still taking two naps a day, usually about 1 1/2-2 hours each and generally go down and wake up happy each time. You have 11 teeth through now, with the other bottom molar looking like it could pop through any day. You are not a great night time sleeper. You really would like to have a snack (milk) most nights. Your night time sleep is completely unpredictable, you might sleep all night for several nights and then wake up several nights in row with no seeming pattern. However, if you wake up you have NO desire to be held or cuddled, you simply want a drink and to go back to bed! Hours and hours and weeks and weeks of attempting to make you cry it out seem to have no impact on your desire to sleep all night, every night. I have a feeling you are going to be one strong-willed child. You are wearing 18-24 month pants and 24months-2T shirts. I think you weigh close to 30lbs now. You are signing "please", "all done", "more" and "thank you" now. We are trying really hard to get you to sign all done before you start throwing your food or cup down. You are understanding more and more everyday and are starting to get better about following simple commands like picking things up and throwing things away. You are having surgery in a couple of weeks to fix your hernia, on the same day as your big sister. You love playing with your siblings and try to keep up with them. You also love to try to do the actions to songs that your siblings sing. You have added a lot to our family over the last 14 months!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Fast Update on Drake
The long story short is that Drake went on anti-seizure meds on August 22, after meeting with a neurologist at St. Louis Children's Hospital. We really felt good about the doctor and the information she provided. To date, since being on meds he hasn't had any more seizures, yay!
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